Thursday, October 3, 2013

How to make old ladies jealous

old lady jacket

Jacket: Burlington Coat Factory 
Loafers: Elizabeth and James 'Aly'
Watch: Kate Spade (gold dials. f yes) 
Jeans: J Brand 
V-neck: no idea 
Messenger: Zara

Two things about this outfit:

One is a bit of a confession and a bit of a Random Gripe of the Day. According to Instagram, it all began 21 weeks ago. I regrammed Gala Gonzalez's (of post depicting a paradox of an outfit - mixing classic, conservative elements with obnoxiously red, gold-buckled flats and modern jewelry. It's juxtaposition intrigued me, to say the least. New goal: to replicate this beauty. Seemed simple enough. [Nope] I was surprised to find just how difficult it was to acquire the perfectly gorgeous red flats. And whenever I got lucky and found some (which was still only probably twice), they were sold out. Rude. I was also deceived into thinking the search had concluded. I found some patent leather oxfords on for $50 which were perfect. YOOX! My savior! F.A.L.S.E. After overeagerly awaiting my beauties' arrival, I tore open their cardboard vessel like it was Christmas morning and I still had my onesie on. To my outright dismay, I came to find the red shoes were actually pink. Bubble Yum pink. That this is not how they were portrayed on the website goes without saying. Deception. Betrayal. Unmitigated disappointment.

Long story long, I found these Elizabeth and James loafers and am in love with them. Goodbye door, hello window. They're simple but fabulously funky, and they flaunt a slight witch quality from the pointed toe. I can't tell you why, but I wanted that extreme pointed toe, kinda makes it look like you have big feet, Mary Kate and Ashley lookin shoe. Got what I wanted. How weird that I found it in Elizabeth and James!

Two is another old lady story and Random Narrative of the Day. I don't know why I've had so much interaction with the elderly as of late but this is my reality. I suppose it's my hood? Regardless, they've all been the nice ones, not the "get off my grass!" kind of folk so I can't complain. But here's a tip you [hopefully] may never need: if you ever want to make an elderly woman mad jealous all you have to do is buy a jacket like this one. But it has to be as cheap as it is awesome. The cheaper the better. This jacket, for example, was $13 at Burlington Coat Factory. (There are very few places to shop here and we took a chance. AND WON.)

:Where did you find this?!
:Oh. In the coats section, of all places! (my attempt at being nice and actually engaging conversation)
:The COATS section?? But... this isn't even supposed to be there. This jacket is sportswear...
:I don't know. I got lucky I guess! (awkward laughter)
:Oh...*saddest face ever* I wonder if there are any more...
:It was the only one I saw, but hopefully! (*YOINK!* MINE! straight to hell)

Kidding about that last part, but that woman made me feel so guilty for buying the gdamn jacket I almost gave the thing to her. Then my selfishness and overarching sense of victory from finding exactly what I wanted for $13 took over and I got the eff out of there. I donated a dollar for cancer research, so I guess that evens things out, right?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks so much for stopping by and for your lovely comments!

xo - Christine from The Lion's Den